Kick Ass 2 Review
Let’s talk about kick ass 2. Essentially this was an okay movie if you try not to think about it. To inform my feelings on this movie I’d like to go into my feelings on Kick ass (the first one.) Kick ass was an amusing movie that examined the psychology and reality of dressing up […]
Let’s talk about kick ass 2. Essentially this was an okay movie if you try not to think about it.
To inform my feelings on this movie I’d like to go into my feelings on Kick ass (the first one.) Kick ass was an amusing movie that examined the psychology and reality of dressing up in a costume to fight crime. The end result was somewhat brutal in its execution but overall enjoyable. The exception being that the closer the movie got to the end the more eccentric it became. This shift in tone ultimately made the ending feel out of place. What the main character takes away from this experience is that he’s not suited for being a hero . . . yet. The second movie fixes this problem by remaining eccentric from start to finish. But by the end, Kick ass 2 presented a new problem which I will reveal to you through the lost art of summary. Oh and obviously there will be spoilers.
Dave Lizewski, aka Kick-ass, has retired from the crime fighting game, but his actions inspired other ordinary citizens to become people who wear costumes and fight crime. He asks Mindy Macready, aka Hit Girl, to train him, as per the lesson he learned in the last movie. Unfortunately in the midst of training Mindy is caught being Hit Girl by her FBI guardian Marcus, and is forced to hang up her cape. In response Kick-ass, dreading the idea of getting beat up again seeks out a team from the people he inspired. He talks to a man calling himself Dr. Gravity. Dr. Gravity brings kick-ass into a team calling themselves Justice Forever. The cast of justice forever aren’t particularly important and their stories don’t really pay off in a significant way so I won’t go into them. The exception to that is Colonel Stars and Stripes, the born again ex-mob hitman and leader of justice forever, and Kick-ass’ regular life friend Marty aka Battle guy. The group serves the community helping poor people and patrolling the streets just like the people who dress up in costumes and “fight crime” in real life. (In case you didn’t know, people do this for real, but they just call the cops when they see something.) The difference is Justice Forever steps up their game and shuts down a brothel. The important bits about the Justice forever’s story are as follows, Dave bangs a team member who is later attacked and almost raped, and Dave and Marty try to get their other friend Todd involved but Todd walks away bitter after the other two make fun of him for pulling a reverse Flash on Dave’s persona Kick ass by wearing inverse colors and calling himself Ass-kicker.
During Dave’s adventures in justice forever Mindy has a B story where she tries to climb the social ladder in high school at the behest of Marcus. The story has no bearing on the rest of the movie, and could literally be lifted out of the movie and nothing would change. But here is it. Marcus arranges a sleepover between Mindy and the popular girls. The popular girls are somewhat nice to her at first, and it seems like they actually want to make her one of them. The girls push Mindy into a dance cheer-leading tryout thing and Mindy uses her super hero athleticism to succeed in the tryout, but not just succeed she does better than Brooke, the leader of the popular girls. Brooke goes into stereotypical girl hate burn mode and burns Mindy with something called a date ditch. Basically she had one of her guy friends ask Mindy out over and over till she agreed then he drove her out into the middle of the woods and left her there. Mindy turns to Dave for comfort. He basically tells her to be herself, and Mindy mouths off to the girls then uses something called a sick stick on them. It’s a riot control stick that makes people throw up and shit themselves when they touch it (I don’t believe it’s real.) Mindy wins out over the popular girls, I guess, and learns that hit girl is who she is. So by the end of this excursion Mindy emerges from the tunnel of change the same as when she went in. Essentially nothing happened, and if we took this piece out of the movie then the movie would flow at the same pace with no confusion under the assumption that Mindy tried and failed at a regular life.
Meanwhile Chris D’Amico, the former red mist, is upset at his mother, and in a fit of rage accidentally kills her in a tanning bed. Like a true villain this inspires him to use his inheritance to become a super villain, calling himself “The Motherfucker”.The Motherfucker uses his wealth to assemble a gang of super villains, and establishes a following on twitter as the first super villain. This draws the attention of his prison bound uncle. The uncle has Chris brought to the prison. Chris talks to the uncle and in probably one of the best parts of this movie the uncle gives Chris a lesson on evil and cartoon evil by killing his Butler, Javier, in the parking lot just to make himself clear. This motivates Chris to keep being cartoon evil, proving that unlike Javier he missed the point, and destroy anything Kick-Ass loves (seriously he’s like the Monarch.) So Chris and his gang find the Justice forever headquarters through unexplained means and behead Colonel Stars and stripes with the help of Mother Russia, a Russian ex-con and general bad ass. Which leads to them to tracking down Night-Bitch, the member of justice forever kick-ass is banging, and attempting to rape her. When the police are called to this scene, Mother Russia kills several police officers. It’s actually a pretty good scene. Which leads the police to bring the hammer down on all costumed villains and vigilantes, and the police arrest anyone dressed as a superhero. When the police come to the Lizewski house, Dave’s father takes responsibility for being Kick-Ass to protect his son.
Here’s the part where all the stories start tying together. Dave’s friend Todd joined The Motherfucker’s gang. In the motherfucker’s lair The Motherfucker learns from Todd that the man arrested for being Kick-Ass is Dave’s father and not Dave. He has Mr. Lizewski killed in jail and sends a photograph to Dave of his dead dad. Dave vows to never put on the Kick-Ass costume again because he had promised his father he wouldn’t and he feels responsible for his death. The other members of Justice Forever and Mindy attend the funeral for Dave’s sake, but the funeral is attacked by the Motherfucker’s gang in order to grab Dave. Mindy rises to the occasion and kills the kidnappers. Then she convinces Dave to be kick ass in spite of his father’s dying wish and Dave agrees because it’s what he really wanted to do.
The rest of the movie plays out exactly how you would expect. Kick ass and Mindy gather all the heroes to attack the lair instead of calling the police, and everyone fights. It’s Dave versus Chris and Mindy versus mother Russia. The rest of the fights don’t matter. Dave has the standard “oh my god you’re falling let me grab you with one hand because I’m a hero and can’t let you die” moment with Chris and Chris pulls the “I’d rather let myself fall because I’m a villain and can’t accept your help” move with Dave. Pretty standard stuff. And Mindy has the classic “You thought my secret weapon was one thing but you were wrong it’s another thing and now I’m going to stab you with several shards of glass” moment with Mother Russia. Still pretty standard. The good guys win the bad guys lose and perhaps cake, but I can’t guarantee that.
Mindy leaves the city because she killed someone and that’s not good. And Dave tries to wrap things up with a monologue about how the world doesn’t need people pretending to be heroes. It needs real heroes who can really kick ass. So he starts training like he was in the beginning of the movie, so essentially he learned nothing because unlike Mother Russia he missed the points.
Also in a post-credits scene (fuck you very much Marvel), Chris screams from his hospital bed, his legs gone, and barely able to move. I forgot to mention there was a shark tank in Chris’ lair and Chris fell into it during his standard bad guy moment.
In case you didn’t figure out what I think is wrong with this movie I’ll explain more clearly. Nothing really happened. Everyone came out of this movie the same. Except for Chris who may have learned that being a villain may not be for him, but since it was post credits scene I guess I’d have to wait for a sequel to know whether or not that’s true. I say fuck to Marvel because ever since they thought it’d be cute to have a scene after the credits (or at least popularizing it) I can’t leave a theater because you never know which movies will do it and which won’t. Anyway, the problem with Kick Ass 2 is that it accomplishes nothing. Everything in the movie was pretty well done though. The actors do a good job and the logic of the movie holds waters. The effects are fine with exception of a freeway scene that looked pretty shitty. Overall everything was fine but since the characters left the movie the way they came in it feels like I just wasted 2 hours. It’s like Star Trek into Darkness all over again.
The message of the movie is also pretty off point. It should be about the consequences of vigilante justice but instead it’s about how you should ignore the consequences and do what you feel is right. Dave starts the movie wanting to train to be a better hero. Then he loses his teacher (Hit girl) and teams up with other people. Then shit gets real and the leader dies which inspires him to nothing. Stars and Stripe’s death achieved only one purpose which was disbanding Justice Forever. So Dave ignores this consequence. Then he learns that Night Bitch was almost raped. Then his father gets killed and finally he decides that “hey being a hero brings trouble” and cuts it out. Until literally the next sequence when says “no I need to do good.” And then ends the movie wanting to be a better hero.
Mindy starts the movie kicking ass as Hit girl to protect the image and career of her father figure. Then her current father figure catches her and she decides to stop as per some promise. Then she meets the popular girls. Then she gets burned by them. Then Dave tells her to be herself. Then she humiliates the girls. Which ultimately achieves nothing. She did exactly what they did only more graphic and it’s not like the girl’s lives are going to change that much. They just have an embarrassing story about the time some crazy bitch touched them with a stick that made them throw up and shit themselves. And she returns to being Hit girl and kills Mother Russia. To make sure her guardian Marcus isn’t dragged in on some police inquiry she leaves town. And leaves the movie kicking ass as hit girl to protect the image and career of her father figure.
Do you see what I’m saying?
The characters recklessly endanger themselves and it all turns out pretty okay. Except that Dave’s father and Colonel Starts and stripes died, but those two existed in this script with the expressed purpose of death. Don’t act like you didn’t know it. Which leads to the other problem this movie had. It was predictable. Incredibly so, start to finish there were no surprises. Which only furthered my feeling of time flushing away.
So what is this movie? This is the part of my review where I compare the movie to a tangible object. This movie is a well made crystal duck. It looks real nice and if you like ducks it’s a great thing to have. But you have to careful with it. If you apply to much force with your hands or gaze it’ll break. So you just have to set it down on a table and watch it from afar. Never get too close, and don’t examine it too deeply. But honestly that’s true for so many movies in this summer movie season. So I recommend this movie. Because despite it’s fault it’s still better than most of the movies that came out this year. And solely as an action movie it’s pretty good. Just watch chances are you might like it.
Thanks for reading!