What’s wrong with Star Trek: Into Darkness?
Star Trek into Darkness is the sequel to the popular Star Trek cinema franchise reboot. There’s a good amount of feelings about Star Trek: Into Darkness floating around but I’m pretty sure the general consensus is that it was a swing and a miss. And in my opinion that’s pretty correct. But I wouldn’t just […]
Star Trek into Darkness is the sequel to the popular Star Trek cinema franchise reboot. There’s a good amount of feelings about Star Trek: Into Darkness floating around but I’m pretty sure the general consensus is that it was a swing and a miss. And in my opinion that’s pretty correct. But I wouldn’t just say something and not give you my reasons for feeling that way. With that said, here’s what’s wrong with Star Trek:Into Darkness?
I didn’t like Star Trek: Into Darkness for any specific reason. I didn’t like it because it was full of several little problems that added up to the movie not making a lot of sense but more importantly Star Trek: Into Darkness broke the universe quite a bit when you think about it. So I’m going to try and summarize this movie for all of you and tell you all my little complaints. Kind of like Mystery science theater only with a lot more reading.
Star Trek: Into Darkness comes in on some weird red tree planet. That’s labeled for me as Class M Planet Nibiru.
What’s the point in classifying the planet if it’s never going to come up again?
We see a man running away from natives through the forest. When startled by a large creature the man shoots it. Bones emerges from behind the creature yelling, “Kirk you just shot our ride out.” Also the man is revealed to be Kirk.
Why would you send the chief medical officer and the captain of the ship onto the planet? Don’t they have regular crew members or people specifically trained for this kind of thing? Isn’t that part of the point of being Captain, that when a dumb dangerous job is up for grabs the Captain doesn’t have to do it.
They reveal Spock is going into a volcano to set off some kind of device. The device will stop the volcano from exploding. Spock keeps warning Kirk not to let himself be seen because the prime directive of star fleet is that they can’t interfere with a species destiny.
If they can’t intervene with the development of life than why are they fixing the volcano and going through the trouble of moving them from the kill zone and stealing their god? That all seems very intervenial.
Spock has to wear a special suit to go into the volcano and the ships can’t get anywhere near it because it’ll fuck up their shit.
Why aren’t their ships designed for heat? Don’t they fly close to suns and shit? Even if they don’t, if they can build a suit that can go into a volcano why not a ship? The writers know that this is the future, right?
They reveal that the Enterprise is buried in the ocean. Scotty yells at Kirk that putting the ship underwater is stupid. There’s trouble for Spock, the ship that brought him can’t pull him back and he’s stuck on the volcano.
Just because you point out that putting the ship underwater is stupid doesn’t excuse the fact that you put the ship underwater.
Kirk asks the obvious question, “Can’t we warp him out?” Then Chekov says that there’s too much interference from the volcano, and suggest that if the computer had a direct line of sight maybe they could get him out.
Direct line of sight? Why would the computer need to see him to find him? It’s a computer. Don’t they warp from space onto other planets. I would imagine a planet would have a stronger magnetic field or interference or whatever than a simple volcano. And why wouldn’t the ash or smoke or whatever impede the computers “sight”?
Spock doesn’t want them to save him because it’ll intervene with the development of the race.
Why does he care about revealing the ship? They’re already breaking the prime directive.
Apparently they only have 90 seconds.
How do they know when the volcano will erupt?
And Kirk is like screw it and pulls the ship out of water anyway. Just before the cold bomb goes off Spock is retrieved. The bomb essentially freezes the lava or something.
Isn’t this like a pressure thing? It only froze the top layer of magma wouldn’t the pressure underneath still fuck shit up.
The Aliens ended up drawing the ship in the sand showing that they were completely effected by the event.
How do they know what the top of the ship looked like?
Now we cut to some guy who’s daughter is sick. Suddenly Not Khan tells him he can save his daughter. The man walks into a building drops one liquid into another liquid and it completely destroys the building.
I don’t mind some characterization but did we really need to know so much about the suicide bomber? And If Khan can level whole buildings like this can’t he just rig up several explosions all over the city and kill the people he’s after by process of elimination? He’s willing to blow up the city later.
In between the bombers story we cut back to the guys at star fleet. In a conversation about the mission with the volcano, Pike says that if they shouldn’t have interfered with the cold fusion device. The Volcano was part of that people’s destiny. Proving that Star Fleet is pretty cold blooded.
According to the interweb Cold-fusion is not actually cold. It would have been easier to call it a freeze bomb, I mean it is the future. Or they could have just made something up. It’s science “Fiction.”
Pike tells Kirk that he had a talking to with Star Fleet and that with Kirk’s potential he managed to get Kirk reinstated as his second in command.
Why does he see greatness in this guy? They could have fired him or put him on probation at a lesser level. He could have been another cog in the ship. There are more positions than captain and second in command.
So because of the building explosion earlier all the commanders and vice-commanders or whatever have to meet in a specific room of a specific building. With a window at that. Because of protocol. And much to their surprise Not Khan attacks the room with a ship by shooting wildly into it.
Why wouldn’t he just blow up the second building it seems pretty easy to rig up. He could have thrown a container of that liquid at the building and it probably would have leveled the whole thing. Or remote pilot the ship he used to shoot at them so that he could crash into the room with a bomb of some kind in it. The shooting is way less effective. If I was the villain I could have destroyed star fleet in like an hour.
Kirk macgyvers a way too blow up Not Khan’s ship and somehow Not Khan warps from that ship to some crazy far Klingon Planet. He figures no one would follow him because tension is high with the Klingons and war could break out.
Trans universal warp breaks this universe!!!!! They can literally warp wherever they feel like apparently. That’s a huge problem for the logic of this movie. If he can warp all the way to the Klingon planet like that then it would be easy to battle with the Klingons because they can just send bombs there all day. Star Fleet apparently has the technology to warp people anywhere instantly. War isn’t a problem because whatever army they bring up can just go where it’s needed. Spaceships aren’t needed because they can warp wherever. The ships exist only to explore space I suppose. In that moment they completely destroyed any logic in this movie. They can warp back home when things get messy. They can warp people off of their ships when they invade. They can warp wherever they feel like.
After talking to the Commander of Star Fleet Kirk is now in charge of the Enterprise again and is sent on a mission to illegally kill Not Khan using a super special mega death torpedo.
Positions don’t seem to mean much. They can just throw anybody anywhere. Are there really no other more qualified members of Star Fleet that could handle this?
So Kirk gets on the ship and he gets into a fight with Scotty who doesn’t want to clear the 72 torpedoes because he doesn’t know what’s in them. Scotty quits when Kirk takes the missiles anyway.
Why do they need so many torpedoes I thought this was just a missile shoot and run?
Ohura and Spock are fighting because of Spock’s willingness to die earlier.
Is there really not a regulation against dating your superior officer?
Anyway to replace Scotty, Kirk brings on Chekov because Chekov has seen Scotty at work.
Wouldn’t Scotty have second or third in command why would he promote someone who had been shadowing him instead of someone who was serving under him? Would you let a man who watched someone give a heart transplant do your heart transplant? Fuck no.
Kirk decides that he, Spock and Uhura are going to go down to the planet to look for Not Khan.
Uhura I get. She’s the only one that can speak Klingon. But the captain and vice captain. Why so personal? Don’t they have guys for this? Positions really don’t seem to mean much. They need people with better combat training.
The guys get ambushed by Klingons and Not Khan bails them out by killing all the Klingons. He surrenders because of the missiles.
If the star fleet has the technology to make people like Not Khan why don’t they do it to everyone. There’s no reason not to make everyone more powerful. And couldn’t they just warp Not Khan into the ships brig. Later in the movie some of the people get warped into a holding cell so that’s proof that they don’t have to warp someone into a specific warp room. So why don’t they just warp Not Khan into a holding cell? Do they expect me to believe that a anti-warp shield can be carried? Is it really such a simple contraption?
Not Khan makes Kirk distrust Star Fleet with a few words. And Kirk decides to open up the missiles at Not Khan’s behest. They send Bones and Marcus’ daughter, Carol. Yeah she was on the ship. Bones puts his hand into a compartment to deactivate the bomb. He has to cut a wire. Then the compartment seals his hand the bomb arms itself. They got like 30 seconds or something. So Carol goes to the other side of the missile. Opens a perfectly safe non hand inserting panel and deactivates the bomb.
Why didn’t they deactivate it before he stuck his hand in? I thought what bones was doing was deactivating the missile? But Marcus deactivated it from the other side of the missile using a completely different process. Were there two ways to do it, because her way seemed way easier and more efficient? Is Carol just a jerk?
Carol and Bones discover the torpedoes are made out of people! Also not Khan gives Kirk some coordinates. Kirk sends Scotty to the coordinates. Scotty reluctantly agrees and finds a evil secret base. So he goes in without trouble. Kirk returns to Not Khan and is like, “Why are there people in the missiles?” And Not Khan is like, “They are my people. My genetically enhanced super people and I were prosecuted as war criminals and ended frozen in tubes. When I was found and released I designed weapons for star fleet so then I put my people in the torpedoes to . . . hide them I guess.
Why did he put everyone into torpedoes . . . no seriously why would he put them in something that’s supposed to explode? He could hide them in like servers or engines but he takes the 72 people he loves and straps them to a bunch of bombs.
Not Khan reveals that he is in fact KHAN!!! That’s how he said it. He even paused afterward so that it would sink in.
They made a dramatic Khan reveal, but to who? To me, because no one in the movie knows who he is.
So now a big bad black ship shows up. Later we learn that Khan designed it to be sustained by a very few amount of people.
The bigger ship is a bad because it’s black apparently. But it was designed to be operated by a few amount of people so why is it so damn big . . . wouldn’t smaller and harder to hit would be better?
The bad ship is piloted by the star fleet commander Marcus. Dun dun dun Marcus is a bad guy. He obviously plans to blow them out of the sky so Kirk makes a tactical retreat.
How did they expect to run away? The bad guys knows where he’s going? How do they plan on escaping in the long run? Man Kirk is a bad captain.
The bad ship is faster in warp and starts shooting the Enterprise and knocks them out of warp.
Can you shoot lasers in warp? Aren’t they moving faster than light? How . . . how does that work? Someone explain it to me in the comments.
Carol is like, “Dad knock it off.” And Marcus teleports her onto his ship. Despite the fact that the Enterprise had it’s shields up. The evil ship is about to blow them out of the water, but then the whole ship shuts down. Scotty was on board and in full ninja mode because no one found him, and he shut down the ship’s computer or something. The entire system needs to reboot. Giving the enterprise the chance to save their ass.
How long does it take for a ships systems to boot?
Using this time Spock calls Old Spock for help. He needs info on Khan. Old Spock tells them that Khan is a bad dude. They beat him but at great cost.
He called old Spock for no reason. I mean Spock already knew that Khan was a bad dude.
So now three people Scotty, Kirk and Khan take over the big bad ship.
That ship was way to easy to take. Like several Klingons could have done it. This is not a very secure ship.
Lots of stuff goes down, but basically Carol’s leg gets broken and Khan pops Marcus’ head like a cherry. And he makes a trad with Spock the 72 missiles for Kirk, Scotty and Carol.
Should have shown me the head popping. Didn’t the star fleet commander take Carol without the shield going down? Couldn’t Khan just have taken the torpeople without incident? Why did no on think to call them torpeople?
Khan warps the missiles out of the ship onto his. Khan decides to blow them up and fires on the enterprise but surprise Spock switched the people with more bombs and blows up the big bad ship.
Can they really warp you where ever? Can’t Khan just teleport them to the sun or something? Seems way faster than shooting them. Clearly he can target multiple things at once like he did with the missiles.
The Enterprise is unbalanced because of the shootings and starts falling to Earth. Kirk goes into a radioactive room to fix it sacrificing his life. Kirk dies behind the glass and Spock yells, “KHAN!” Because he is emotional over his friend dying.
The sacrifice at the end doesn’t really have as much impact because these two just kind of met. It’s only the second movie. It worked in the show because it was from years of stories together.
Anyway Khan decides to pilot his breaking ship on a collision course to Star fleet headquarters. He lands and escapes into the city. Someone says, “Can’t we just warp him onto the ship?” And someone else is like, “No we can’t get a lock on his signal, but I can put you down next to him in the city.”
Signal? Why would he need a signal to beam Khan from the city? If they can throw people where ever why can’t they pull people from where ever?
Spock chases after him. Bones realizes that Khan’s blood can regenerate Kirk, but he needs Khan alive to save Kirk.
Why does he need Khan alive? Don’t they have all the other frozen people? Technically they don’t need them alive they just need blood.
They can’t get a hold of Spock because he’s in full murder frenzy. They want to warp the two out of there, but they’re moving to fast on a random vehicle that the two are fighting on. But they can beam someone onto the vehicle.
Why can’t he get a lock on someone moving but can move someone onto a moving target? I . . . what? And how stubborn is the driver of that vehicle that he has two dudes fighting on top and refuses to stop his commute?
Ohura is beamed and unloads lasers on Khan but it means nothing to him but then Spock hits him real hard and he gets knocked out. They stop him and take him in. Then they use his magic blood to save Kirk, and it is magic. Because Kirk was definitely dead longer than brain function persists.
What is Khan is too cool to dodge lasers? Phoenix down breaks the universe!!!!!! So now we have a way to manufacture cure all blood. Is star fleet just going to forget about it? Clearly there are some bad diseases hence the little girl the beginning, and now there’s a way to save them but Star Fleet is just going to seal it away forever. How irresponsibly stupid are they?
With all that done Kirk gives a speech and the Enterprise goes on the five year mission.
But What about the Klingons? Isn’t that a thing? Aren’t they pissed about all the Klingons Khan killed? There should be a war now right? So why does Star Fleet have time to send some of it’s most qualified (apparently) people out for five years? Oh whatever the logic is already broken. Makes wonder if there was anything in this movie I truly enjoyed seeing.
Yeah that wasn’t bad. Boy that was long huh? So opinions. This movie was a good dumb action movie, but if you look at it closely the whole thing falls apart. The problem is that this is Star Trek. It’s supposed to be technical and smart. Did they really think the fan base would be happy with such a poorly thought out movie? I’m not even in the fan base but I’m unhappy with the sheer slap assedness of the writing. Long run you might enjoy this movie. Short run you could spend your time better. Overall I would compare this movie to a game of jenga. You got to be very careful where you poke. Thanks for reading.